Alcoholic dreamers
by theonewhosawitall
Summary: Merlin and Arthur are in love. Camelot has never been a happier place. but Uther wants to stop their relationship in fear it will taint Camelots reputation. when they have to break up, Merlin cant take the pain. he descends into alcohol.
1. Riverside Kisses

Merlin and Arthur were deeply in love. So merlin thought. They were not allowed to be together publically. It was shameful to have a prince date a serving boy. Especially a serving _boy_. it couldn't happen. They had to keep their love secret.

Despite having to keep their love secret, they were happy.

Merlin and Arthur were deep in the forest in a clearing by the lake. They were having a picnic. They often had picnics here. Every time they did, they has a blissful time.

In the calm of the forest merlin fed Arthur grapes and every few minutes, he stole one as the prince was about to eat it.

Merlin stole the last one.

"That's it!" Arthur grinned.

Arthur lunged for merlin but merlin lept to him feet laughing and ran off. Arthur lept up after him. Merlin and Arthur spent ten minutes running around until Merlin run into a hollow tree trunk and Arthur caught him.

"Got you now!" Arthur smirked.

"What are you going to do to me?" merlin smiled.

"This…"

Arthur leaned in and kissed merlin gently and lovingly for the first time. Merlin was in shock when Arthur pulled away.

"You're beautiful merlin!"

"You're not so bad yourself!"

Arthur laughed. He led merlin back to the blanket to finish off their picnic before the left for Camelot.

As they trotted in through the town after their "hunting trio", everyone smiled up at them. Since the "secret" relationship had started, the townspeople were less bullied.

The townsmen believed Merlin had brought out a better side of Arthur. A bolder, more confident side which made him fight for his people and not his father. Camelot on a whole, was a brighter place for their love.

As they passed, the townspeople cheered for them. To show them that they were accepted. That they were loved. They were so happy for them that Merlin kept grinning because he just couldn't stop. Arthur couldn't stop smiling at Merlins joyous grin.

A love-struck bond that was so obviously formed between them, brought floods of joy to the excited crowds around them.

But it was still secret.

A secret rumour that Uther wanted to put a stop to.


	2. What's Best for Camelot

Arthur was ordered to have a private consultation with Uther.

Arthur came strolling through the halls like he was walking sunshine. He flashed a grin at Gwen as he swiped a lilac flower from his basket.

"You look beautiful today!" Arthur said.

"Thank you. You look lovely too your highness!" Gwen said, "It's a beautiful day!"

"In a beautiful kingdom!" Arthur said. He happened to spot Merlin heading his way. His face because the perfect picture of amazement.

"Indeed, a beautiful kingdom… Excuse me!"

Arthur stopped Merlin from passing.

"Here. The rule is to give this to the most beautiful person in Camelot. You'll going to have to keep it!"

Arthur pressed the flowers stem into Merlins palm. Merlin smiled so brightly his eyes shone.

"Thank you sire, but you'd have to take that back!"

"I want you to keep it. It brings out your eyes!"

Merlin chuckled shaking his head. Arthur smiled at Merlin's smile. But he was in too much of a rush to treasure the precious moment.

Arthur walked into the hall. Uther's serious face withered Arthurs smile.

Arthur stood before Uther as Uther traced and retraced his pacing steps. He said a lot of words about how important Camelot was and how Camelot was to be put first and how the needs of the kingdom outnumbered the needs of the prince.

Arthur listened intently for some of it. Then his voice became more serious and firm and unarguable. In one sentence, Uther destroyed Arthur's world.

"Arthur Merlin has to go."

Uther was firm with Arthur. Arthur was heartbroken. He couldn't argue with his father. He was disowned last time he did.

Arthur just stared down at his feet furiously battling the tears trying to form in his eyes.

"Arthur look at me!" Uther said

Arthur slowly raised his head.

"Promise me you'll do what's right for Camelot!" Uther said.

Arthur swallowed heard. It felt like there was a mace in his throat ready to choke him or making him cry. Either way it would win. With all the courage he could muster, and his heart in shards on the floor, Arthur took a breath and simple said,

"Yes father."


	3. Break It Up

Arthur took a deep breath. He had gone over his speech in his mind countless times. Still he had no idea how to get from meeting to the speech.

Finally when he had the speech perfect in his head, he saw merlin. Merlin was smiling. Arthur remembered when he had said he'd change the world before changing a thing about Merlin. Because Merlin looked so perfect in the light around him.

"Hello Arthur!" Merlin said.

"Merlin. Look Merlin we have to talk!" Arthur said.

"Ok. What's wrong?" Merlin asked concerned.

Arthur looked into Merlins eyes. He felt himself die a little inside.

"Look Merlin… I love you still… I will always love you… But I just can't be together. I'm really sorry!"

"Why can't we be together? No one knows we are!"

"Everyone knows Merlin! Everyone knows… And that can't be. We… We can't be. I have to do what's good for Camelot."

"For Camelot? Arthur, Camelot is at the best it has been for years! The people are happy and there has been less crime! Camelot is at the best it has been. This is as good as it's going to get!"

"Merlin-"

"No Arthur- just… Just no."

Arthur watched as Merlin walked away. He exhaled and tried to blink the tears from his eyes.

Merlin was in floods of tears. He desperately tried to stop them so they were dry by the time he got back to Camelot.

The moment he set foot in Camelot, Gwaine grabbed him.

"What's wrong? Have you been crying?"

Then Merlin couldn't hold back. Gwaine held him as Merlin sobbed. Gwaine used Merlins neckerchief to wipe Merlins tears and nose.

"You know what you need?" Gwaine smiled gently. Merlin shook his head.

"A night in the tavern with Gwaine! Come on, I'm buying!"

Merlin allowed Gwaine to lead him into The Raising Sun. They didn't leave the same day.

When Arthur came riding back into Camelot he passed the tavern. Through the window he saw Merlin. Merlin was sitting alone drinking mead. Arthur felt guilty. Then Gwaine replaced Merlins cup with another that was filled to the brim. Merlin grinned up at Gwaine. He looked happy. Happy without Arthur.

He was so wrong.


	4. Replacement

Merlin discovered as he staggered in late that night, drinking makes the pain ease.

Not vanish entirely, but ease enough for him to sleep.

He couldn't stop thinking about Arthur. He couldn't stop replaying their breakup in his mind. But he managed to fight his way into a light sleep.

The scorching light slammed into him directly from the open window. His stomach was turning circles and his head was pounding.

He heaved himself up to head to Arthur's chambers. He assumed even without a personal relationship, they were still working together.

Merlin staggered through the corridors. He passed Gwaine who looked just as rough in the face but his hair was still perfect. Merlin groaned at him.

Gwaine groaned back.

Merlin nodded a little.

Gwaine raised his head.

They both grunted and went on their way.

Merlin found Arthur's door open a crack. He peered inside.

Another servant with a brown jacket and a blue shirt and short Brown hair served Arthur his breakfast in a respectful and dignified manner.

He placed the food covered silver plate on Arthur's lap and covered Arthur's bare chest with a white cloth.

He moved with such grace and elegance that it was as if he was born and raised to serve royalty. Like he'd practised the same moves repeatedly for hours. Like it was in his blood. All he was meant to do.

The way a man servant should be.

Arthur smiled at him with confused wonder. He couldn't help wondering why this George, was so extremely aggravating. He was boring as Hell and too polite. Arthur hated it. There was much too much grace and elegance and patience and far too much gentle waking.

Merlin was rough and grabby and dragged Arthur out of bed. He threw cloths at Arthur and "subtly" made more holes in his belt. Then he was criticising. Merlin practically annoyed Arthur into getting him up and ready. To be honest, he preferred his old clumsy dim-witted Clotpole of a manservant, to this professional. Arthur didn't see this relationship lasting. He smiled, to wait out the time between

Yet Merlin only saw the smile.

Merlin knew he was out of a job, but now it seemed he really was out of love too.

Arthur was happy. Happy without Merlin.

But he was wrong.

In this agonising belief, he recalled the "conversation" he had had with Gwaine earlier.

"Morning"

"Yeah it is"

"You look like hell!"

"You should look in a mirror! Tavern later?"

"Meet you there."

So he tuned on his heels and walked away down to the tavern on the outskirts of the village. (it was the only one open at the moment) when the rising Sun opened, he almost flew through the doors, only to land on his face, already drunk. Gwaine dragged him to a table.

Merlin didn't leave again for three days.


	5. I'll Love Him Till I Die

Gwaine stuck by Merlin as much as he could. He was concerned about the amount Merlin was drinking. Merlin practically lived in the tavern. The barmaid knew him by name.

A few hours after the rising sun opened, there were empty mugs cluttering Merlins table and the sink. Gwaine saw it as soon as he walked in. it stuck him deeply with guilt. Gwaine decided that he was the cause of Merlins drinking problem so he was going to stop it.

"Hey merlin." Gwaine said.

"Gwaine!" merlin cheered drunkenly.

Gwaine slipped into the chair beside merlin. He was quiet as he thought up what he should say. Then he watched merlin finish a mug in a couple of mouthfuls, and lay his head on his hands.

"Merlin, I know that it's earlier and it's too hard to think, but look at yourself. You're filling a pain with alcohol because it's too hard to go sober. I know. I've been there. But I thought that I should tell you, if it's not too late to say, I can put back all the pieces they just might not fit the same. Merlin, nothing's worth losing. Especially the chance to make it right. But As long as we live, time passes by and we won't get it back when we die so go and talk to Arthur. Come on!"

Gwaine hoisted Merlin up, and merlin shoved all his weight onto Gwaine. Gwaine tried to stabilise merlin but merlin flopped to the floor. His eyes remained shut.

Gwaine knelt down, assuming that merlin was asleep. He sighed and shook his head before he noticed.

Merlins chest didn't move like he was breathing.

Gwaine got closer to feel if Merlins breathing could be felt on his cheek. It couldn't. Gwaine pulled out his sword and held it under Merlins nose to check for vapour that never came.

Gwaine yelled in anguish and disbelief. He shook merlin as he yelled to try and wake him up. The barmaid screamed that he was dead and there was nothing anyone could do. Gwaine yelled that he wouldn't stop trying.

Gwaine hoisted merlin over his shoulders and ran to Gaius. He passed Gwen on the way, and Gwen noticed the tears forming in Gwaine's eye. As the knights were trained to believe that "no man is worth your tears" Gwen knew something was up. She couldn't believe what had happened.

When Gwaine and Gwen watched Gaius hover around merlin and do little tests, their fears were multiplied. Gaius looked down at his poisons. He counted them and sighed.

"My Mortems flower liquid is missing. I wouldn't be surprised if merlin has poisoned himself. It's terrible, yes, but we must think of how he is now. He's no longer in pain. Also I found his in his hand,"

Giuas handed Gwaine a note because he was fighting too many tears to read. Gwaine cleared his throat and tried not to cry. Gwen didn't try. She wept into Gwaine.

"It says I'll love him till I die. That poses the question, who's going to tell Arthur?"


	6. Disappearing Prince

No one dared mention merlin to Arthur. Especially after his death. It wasn't until after his funeral when they decided someone HAD to tell him.

They elected a knight should tell him. Leon reminded them that Arthur was being "iffy" around Gwaine at the moment. Gwaine, rather delighted, said that it could be him because of it.

A lot of other excuses got thrown around but in the end the knights decided to go in together dragging Gwaine along anyway. So they banded together and got to the door. The door was ajar and they could hear what was going on inside. Arthur was firing George.

"He's Shabby looking, he has appalling manors, he's extremely forgetful, and he seems to spend most of his time in the tavern, but he is my manservant. And to be honest, I quite like it that way!" Arthur said.

"Sire, are you talking about merlin?" George said.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because, sire, merlin has passed on."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It is true my lord. Merlin passed on and he was buried beneath the willow yesterday. I believed you had known. I apologise my lord."

Arthur looked at the door in disbelief as if he expected merlin to come wandering in. only his knights did.

"Leon where is merlin?" Arthur said.

Leon shifted a little. He didn't want to be the one to answer.

"He's in the tavern sire!" Gwaine said. Percival elbowed him.

"No he's not sire. Merlin is gone." Elyan said.

"Gone where? Ealdor? When will he be back?"

"That's a point we need to tell his mother. I do not want to do that!" Gwaine said.

"Shut up Gwaine." Percival said.

"He's can't be gone. Merlin can't be gone. I promised him I wouldn't give up and I broke that promise so he can't be dead until I fix it."

"I'm very sorry sire."

"He's gone."

"Yes sire."

"Excuse me."

Arthur left.

No one saw him again for a month. Although with all the guards that were sent out, they really should have. when they did find him, it was because the river brought him back to Camelot. Floating face down on it. It was assumed he committed suicide by drowning because he didn't fight for Merlin. they burred Arthur beside Merlin beneath the willow.


	7. For the First Time in a Long Time

A thousand years passed by and Camelot became lost. It's people died, its king vanished was buried near his only son and his sons lover. The only proof that these things existed was a round table that was faked repeatedly and the genuine one is lost within fakes, a sword in a stone lost in Avalon, and a circular stone shrine to replace the willow around the grave of the lost prince of Camelot. Over the years that circular stone has been mistakenly thought that merlin himself had moved the stones to prove his magic and was buried between them. They were half right. Merlin is there. But he didn't move the stones.

One knight, the Druids of the old religion accomplished a task they had set out to do for many millennia. And yet, they didn't know it. They managed to raise their leader.

Druids had risen people before. Gwaine was living proof of that. Leon didn't die. Now Merlin joined them in the modern world.

Merlin and Gwaine and Leon moved in to the same house. Leon helped Merlin and Gwaine to get a job in the castle. It was the easiest and most convenient thing to do because Leon was the only one with a car. He drove them all over and drove them home.

Except today, he got a date. (No thanks to Gwaine - out of stocks anyway!)

"Boys, can you walk home?" Leon said.

"Why?" merlin said.

"You know why!" Leon said.

"No I don't. Why?" merlin said.

"Because I have a date!" Leon said.

"Oh you think you're going to get lucky!" merlin said.

"Well… shut up!" Leon said.

"Yeah you got it Leon! Good luck!" Gwaine said.

Leon was really suspicious now. He had no idea what Merlin and Gwaine were planning, but it was something. Something embarrassing.

Merlin and Gwaine hid behind the bushes near Leon's hair. When Leon led his date to his car, they lept up and started singing:

_"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore! When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore! Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, Ting-a-ling-a-ling and you'll sing, "Vita Bella"!"_

Leon turned a shocking shade of Scarlett and Gwaine and Merlin laughed so hard their chests ached. Leon's date was grinning and blushing. Leon was planning how to kill them.

Leon hurried his date into the car and drove off leaving the others laughing in the car park.

"We're never getting a ride again!" merlin said.

"Worth it though!" Gwaine said.

Gwaine started walking towards home. Merlin paused for a second before they walked on.

"Merlin? What's wrong?" Gwaine asked merlin blinked in surprise.

"Nothing. I just… I thought I saw… nothing. It's ok. Let's go!" Merlin said.

Gwaine slid his arm around Merlins shoulders and they headed onwards down the hill. Merlin didn't mention that he thought he had seen Arthur. He just grinned, slid his hand around Gwaine's waist, and continued to talk about the prank.

And for the first time in a long, long time, he was happy.


	8. Happy Apart

Merlin had seen Arthur. Arthur had seen merlin.

Arthur had seen merlin grinning with Gwaine and slid his arm around Gwaine and laugh with Gwaine. The last time Arthur saw merlin grin like that, was the first time they had kissed.

Arthur felt a strike of guilt. He was seriously considering stealing merlin back from Gwaine. Arthur was certain he was in love with merlin and would do anything for him.

Arthur wanted his merlin back. But he waited first. He had to plan something. Something extravagant to win Merlin back.

Arthur listened to the radio in his house as he tried to think of a plan. The 6 Stages of Separation came over the radio.

_First, you think the worst is a broken heart. What's gonna kill you is the second part. And the third, is when your world splits down the middle. And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself. Fifth, you see them out with someone else. And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little._

Arthur paused.

One, two and three he'd managed to do back in Camelot. He knew he'd fucked up in Camelot. Four he thought he'd managed when he arrived here. Fifth he'd done here.

He'd screwed up the order but he managed to go through all the steps. Arthur looked down at what he was doing.

Trying to steal merlin back wouldn't help him. Merlin was happy again. You could tell just by looking at him and Gwaine together. They were happy. Even though he wasn't with merlin, just knowing merlin was happy pleased him.

So, for the first time in a long, long time, Arthur found himself happy.


End file.
